Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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