I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
