Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it glows. i had to have it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
