i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize