How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
