am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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