it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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