he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
