he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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