barbara walters just said penis...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
