I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
