Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
