I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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