I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
