It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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