it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
