Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
