A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
