I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
