Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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