This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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