Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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