That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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