I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
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