Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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