what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
