You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
