The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
