I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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