Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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