is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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