I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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