i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize