I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize