hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
