Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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