I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize