Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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