ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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