I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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