Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
