Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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