Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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