why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
