Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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