Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
