He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
