he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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