i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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