how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
