Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she told me i tasted like america
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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