i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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