we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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