the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
