Its about making memories worth repressing
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
