i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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