I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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