Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
