you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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