not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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